Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Sometimes I dont have a filter

So sometimes, I just say things. I don't think about what I am saying or if they're even true. They just come to mind and I say them. It's really bad. I'm sorry!

Okay so Rach and I had a Step Sisters photoshoot and here are the results:

ahahahah! It was sooo fun! We even made a video that I will keep forever! I am going to miss her soo much this summer.
I felt like i was 6 years old again today, because I had to get a cavity filled. I've only had one cavity and that was a very very long time ago. And then I lost that tooth so I didn't have any cavities at all. Now, I am 20 and I had one little cavity in my very last back bottom left side molar. The left half of my face has been numb for almost 6 hours now. I went to my ward social, and I think people could tell the left side of me was drooping. hmmm i don't really care. ha!
So at the ward social, they started this slideshow, and I was thinking Oh great this will be fun because I never go to any of the ward activities, and I didn't submit anything. Oh no worries Becca took care of it. She submitted pictures of us snowboarding on the best day ever, pictures of me in short running shorts with Jc in Santa Barbara, me in her huge clothes being a gangster, a picture of us on our roadtrip. I was in half the slideshow! It was pretty embarassing. And on top of that when I tried to laugh I could tell the left corner of my lip wasn't getting the memo still so I had to cover my mouth up with my hand. I probably looked like two-face for anyone who caught a quick glimpse.
Okay I'm done blogging for the day. I might go to bed super early! That would be amazing!!

Monday, March 29, 2010

It's a New Day!!

It's a New Day and I have sooooo much to do! Ohhh and I have a voice!! A boyish, very raspy voice, but a voice!! YAY!!
These are the things I am thankful for:
1. My health, sometimes its not so good, but I always end up being okay. Everyone gets sick every once in a while right?!
2. My bed, blankets, the roof over my head! Ahhhh thank goodness. I don't think I would like being homeless.
3. My daddy and his job! He provides so much! I love him. and the rest of my family! I am soo excited to see them in a few weeks! It is going to be so fun I just know it!!
4. My amazing boyfriend! He is the number one best thing ever! I just plain old love him!
5. My friends. Especially one, Rachael McBride. She keeps me sane, or not. haha! Well she is the best friend I have. If I were a lesbian, I would marry her. Because we spend soo much time together, and it never gets old. We laugh all the time and its great! I love her!
6. My car, Lyla! And her great gas mileage.
7. Andrew McMahon, you make the greatest songs ever! Any feelings that I have, ever, can always be expressed by one of your tunes. Like right now, I really miss Jc, so I am listening to I Need You by Jack's Mannequin. I love that song.
8. School. I know I say I hate school so much, but where would we be without it? What would I be doing? Absolutely nothing. I would be so worthless. I am glad that I am learning things that will make me a valuable person in our society.
9. Fruit! I love love love fruit! And the best part about it is, that it doesn't hurt my tummy!
10. The Gospel. I am just so thankful for it and everything that it entails. The Book of Mormon is sooo incredible. I don't know if I would ever know true happiness if I was not a member.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Sweat It Out

Today I have no voice. I tried to "sweat it out" in the shower with some essential oils and I still feel like poo. Being sick is awful! AWFUL!!!
Well here's some good news! I won bracket challenge, and since the very first day I was in last. But thank you West Virginia and Kentucky! I won! It's not even over yet but I still won. I always do somehow. I love it!
I made another bet with Chris Brown that MSU would win today and they did! It was epic! Rachael and him were just saying that Chris always wins. That he never loses a bet he makes. Oh guess what?!? I beat you fool! TWICE! And he wanted to redeem himself so he called Baylor to win against Duke, and I told him I wasn't going to bet anymore, but guess who won?! DUKE BABY!!! For being so sick, I felt like I was on top of the world! I loved it!
I miss Jc sooooo much! You know when you are sick and you just want to be held. Like your body just needs attention? Yeah, I was feeling that big time! And he is 4 hours away :( I just wanna pack up my stuff and leave. Not finish any of my classes. Nothing!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Strep Throat

I have Strep Throat. Enough said.

Friday, March 26, 2010

You're Poison

Why do I do the things I do when you are around? Why do I justify my decisions? Why are you so persuasive? You're not even good looking. And I have a boyfriend. Leave me alone.
Okay I'm adding this to my About me:
Baby cows are the only best kind of cow. Especially the kind that run around. When I see a baby cow running, I think, "Yeah you better run as much as possible now, because in a year or two you're gonna be too fat to run."
Well maybe I won't add that. It's kinda long, and it's more of an opinion. I can't wait to leave this country. I hate school!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Yogalates Yogalates Yogalates

I just got done teaching Yogalates and it was fun.
I did not sleep well last night but, I had a good day. I want to go to Utah again this weekend but it might not happen. I have 2 huge projects due next week. Towards the end, but none the less next week. It's stressful. I will figure it all out though.
Okay I am trying to make a good About Me. I'll change parts of it everyday I think. Here's my first attempt:
My name is Melanie. I like a lot of things. I love my family they are nice. I love my friends. I like to dance and sing, but I'm not very good at either. I love songs that get you excited. Excited to dance, excited to kiss, excited to live your life. I like sunny days, and the way my skin feels when it is warm from it. I love my yellow raincoat, and my favorite jeans. I have an obsession with panties. I like making lists. I love to sleep with a candle burning, even if it is dangerous. I think rigamortis is one of the funniest things ever. I love that feeling you get when you think there is another stair and there isn't. I love people watching. I love thinking of an old funny experience and laughing about it and no one else around you knows what's going on in your head. I love snowboarding and falling into powder. I love to kiss. Kiss on the cheek, kiss on the forehead, kiss on the lips, and french kiss! :) I love sleeping! I love clean sheets. I love waking up naked, You just know it is going to be a good day when you wake up naked, you were born naked, what's better than starting your day out naked? I love showers, I just hate drying my hair. I like giving and service. I love yoga, but I'm tired of teaching it. I like learning new things, I just hate being required to memorize it for man-made tests. I am a nerd. I play the flute and the didgeridoo. I like the smell of gasoline.

Okay I'm done for now. I'll think of more or less. That's just what I have on my mind right now.

I'd Rather be Homeless

You know when you find out some information that you would rather not know? Yup, today that happened to me. I tried to keep my mind off of it but it was just too hard.
Dear Loved One, Please get better. I don't know how serious it is. But just the fact that you are sick makes my stomach do somersaults. I literally CANNOT imagine my life without you. I don't even wanna write anymore about it because it makes me want to cry. I just can't cry right now.
And this whole ordeal with Jc and his parents and whatever, I hate it! Yes, he should have told them. Yes, Amy Chung is an idiot who acts like she is 40 years younger than she actually is. Yes, I was right, as always. Yes, I am dating a gutless boy. Yes, I am in love with him even if he did mess up. Drop it!
I hate today. I'm sorry!

Sunday, March 21, 2010


I don't even really care. But at the same time I do. I'll explain myself: So I don't care because blogging isn't the most important thing in life. I do care because I told myself and my blog that I would do this 365 days things, and I was determined to do it. Fail.

I am in provo and I just learned how to play the drums. That is why I'm wearing the hat.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Let the Madness Begin...

Yay!! I love love love March Madness! Even though some of my teams didn't win, it is still really fun! I had a very productive day today. I did all my laundry! okay so I wasn't super productive. WHAT?!? Well starting next week, I wont have a life. I have to build an inertial dynamo-meter and a fire starter. No one actually knows what an inertial dynamo-meter is. I only know because I have to.
Here's something cool. So I was in my Dynamics class and we are talking about Impulse and Kinetic Energy, and how if things have a shorter Impact time, then the force is stronger and vice versa. So I shared my story of my accident and it totally applied! There's this guy that sits behind me and I think that if I wasn't dating the man that's all I've ever wanted, I would date him. Is it bad that I think things like that? I kinda want to go out with him, but I won't. I won't be dating anyone for a very long time, especially if I marry Jc. I don't think I'm ready to be done dating. Maybe I am. I have no idea.
I liked last semester when I was on drugs, and I always did what I wanted. And I dated a million guys. I was so confident, and carefree. I know that it was a bad thing that I was addicted to Darvocet, but being completely honest, I liked it! IT WAS FUN! ALL THE TIME!
Okay that was a huge tangent. Goodnight Moon!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I'm not Irish!!!

Well my bff and I got in a minor argument tonight and I hated it. I don't ever want to fight with her again. Dear Rachael, can you just play bracket challenge? It's fun. I promise.
We went chalking today and it was really fun. I wish I was a little kid and I could just do little kid things all day and no one would judge me. Nope, I have to be a grown up and figure out my own living situation, and school stuff, and phone plan. I don't like all that stress. It's not fun.
Dear Daddy, I don't want a pay as you go phone. But I know its probably the best decision. I'm sorry I am kind of a brat sometimes. I love you and you are everything I could want in a father.
Dear Jc, You are everything I need. You always say the most perfect things to me, and say everything that I need to hear to get me back on track and sane. I would lose my mind without you. Thanks for listening to me whine all the time. One day it will stop and all your listening will pay off.
Dear anyone who reads this, I'm sorry I'm not interesting.
Sincerely, Me

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

365 Days starting now

I'm sure most of you have heard or seen this project. It's been on YouTube and on a lot of other blogs, but I am going to do it. Here goes...
I just quit my job at Jimmy John's. I never want to be a sandwich artist again...

Monday, March 1, 2010

I miss you

Young and full of running
Tell me where has that taken me?
Just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity?

Love is really nothing
But a dream that keeps waking me,
For all of my trying
We still end up dying, how can it be?

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me,
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see,
I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believed,
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me.

So young and full of running, all the way to the edge of desire
Steady my breathing, silently screaming,
"I have to have you now"
Wired and I'm tired
Think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor
Maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me

Mostly, my favorite part of this song, is when it says "There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me." Because, I am going to China this summer. I am very very scared that someone will snatch Jc up, and I will be left all alone. Out of sight, out of mind. I know that he loves me and that it is very unlikely that he will forget about me, but it is still a thought that keeps coming up.
He was here in rexburg this past weekend, and I was telling him how I really wanted to go to school with him. How college is supposed to be one of the funnest times in your whole life, and I wanted to experience it with him. I want to walk to school together, and go to the library together, and the gym. I want to go to school events and church together. My original plan was to go there this summer for the spring/summer term but when my daddy got offered a job in China, I changed all my plans. I thought about it, and decided that I would spend the summer in China with my family instead. I feel like I need to reconnect with my family. That I have lost touch with Emma, Caroline, and Nicolas. And that living in China, and taking in the culture there, is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I want to move to China but I also want to live in Provo and go to school with Jc. Ive prayed about it and I think that either way, I would be fine. That it doesn't really matter which one I choose.
Sooo I'm stuck in a pickle. Great!

Guess What?...

Thats what Jc finally said to me, while we were in California. It was absolutely perfect, like everything else between us two.
Okay, so we drove about 10 hours from Provo to Santa Barbara, and I was soooo tired the last 2 hours but the second we got there, it was like I unconsciously recognized everything around me. The smell, the air, the streets, the feeling of the door knob, the carpet on my toes, everything. I have been to that house 3 dozen times, but I haven't been in such a long time. It was sooo amazing to be there again! Well I give Becca and Jc a little tour so we can pick out beds. I get ready with Becca in her bathroom, and then I walk over to my room. On my way, I pass Jc's room, I look in and he is sitting on his bed with the lights on and the door wide open. I ask him if he is okay and he says yes. I could tell something was up, so I went in and sat next to him. We talked for a while and then we laid down. We were laying there and then he asked me, "How do you know when it's more than just like?" And I asked him what he meant. And he said, "Well I've never been in love with someone, so how do you know?" and I smiled because I've already known that he is in love with me, I was just waiting for him to catch on. "Well here's the question, are you in like with me, or in love with me?" and he said, "I'm leaning more towards love." and I asked him why. He said, "Well I made a list of all the things I like about you and all the things I love about you. And love just dominated." So I asked him what kind of things, and he listed a few things like "your laugh, and the way I can talk to you forever, and I am comfortable around you, and the way you make me want to be a better person..." I was smiling this whole time because I was just so happy. Then I said, "Well guess what?.... I'm in love with you too." And then we kissed. And then I asked him when he realized it. And he told me it was right after the last time I saw him. That he thinks about me all day everyday. I was sooo happy! I told him that I've known that I have been in love with him for a long time, and that I tell people that I am "sort-of in love" with him. He laughed. We had such an amazing weekend!!