Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Man Hater. True or False? .... TRUE!

Okay I'm gonna try to shorten this story up as much as possible. Okay so we get back to Rexburg and all is well. I liked Steven but I didn't know how much. We keep seeing each other and then the week of Halloween comes around and we both get swine flu. Fantastic. So we both miss a whole week of school and we just sat around on Halloween night watching movies and stuff. Well I had decided that I needed to end things with Steven because he isn't my type and there were a lot of things about him that were pretty annoying to me. So anyways on Halloween, he kept wanting to come over and I just wanted to spend the day with my room mates and not him really. So I told him I wasn't feeling well and that I was going to take a nap. Well I went to Harrison's instead. I laid on the couch with him and cuddled because he wasn't feeling well. Then I get back home and I walk in my room, and there is a bouquet of really pretty flowers on my desk with a note and a movie. I open up the note and it says something along the lines of Hey Mel, I hope you had a fun night and that you are feeling better. Happy Halloween!   Great! So I call him and apologize and make up some really good excuse for not being there. He comes over a little bit later and we talk. While we are talking he starts up a DTR. He tells me that he really likes me and he thinks that I really like him and that he wants to be my boyfriend. At first I say yes, and then a few minutes later I ask him why he wants to be official with me. He tells me that he really likes me and that he only wants to be with me, and that he doesn't like kissing without being official. Then he asks me why I asked. I told him that I didn't really want to be official but that I still really liked him. That eventually we would be. At the time I was just thinking about how I should have just ended things right then and there. Well another week goes by and we are just going about things as we normally would. And then on Thursday we go on a date. After our date, we sit in his car and talk for about an hour. He tells me that he really doesn't  like being in the middle ground and that he wants me to open up to him. I tell him that I do want to open up to him, but I have a really hard time especially after what my ex did to me. I had a hard time trusting boys with my feelings and I wasn't ready to do that again. I almost started crying. He told me that he understood and that he didn't want to pressure me into moving any further. I told him that I felt like I didn't really know him, that I knew things about him but I didn't KNOW him. That we moved pretty fast and if we needed to we could take a step back.
The next day, Friday, I left for Provo to visit JC and Josh and Liz. JC is my future lover. Well that's what my mom thinks and she is always right. Okay so here I am super excited to see him and thinking that I am going to forget about Steven completely. Nope. I get to Provo and I haven't heard from Steven in a long time. I start to worry. The next day, I text him and he is being super short with me. I really start worrying. I have Jenna, my roommate text him and find out what is going on. I guess he was being pretty short with her too. Well I had a pretty awesome weekend with JC. We went on a little date, and we talked A LOT, and we stared in each others eyes, and it was pretty amazing. Well I get back to Rexburg kinda late, but I really wanted to see him. So I go over to his place and we hug and he kisses me. We talked about our weekends and then I ask him what was wrong. He tells me that he had a very self reflecting weekend, and that he just realized that he needed to change some things about himself. I asked him if he thought about me and he said yes. He told me that he thought about me a lot and that he missed me but at the same time he didn't because he doesn't miss people ever. So I felt a little better about it all. Well I get home and he is texting me like normal which is good. I realized over the weekend and that night, that I should just date him because he was good to me and I had nothing better to do. So I decided that I wanted to make things official. On Monday we have class together but that is all I saw of him. We talked about doing homework together after FHE, so I texted him after FHE and he told me he was talking with friends. Then he asked what I was doing and I told him that I was feeling really really sick. He didn't text me back til the next morning. When he did he said, "Sorry my phone was charging and not with me, what do u want?"  I told him that I wanted him, but that I was okay now. He said sorry. Great were back in this boat. So my whole day was just bad. Then after Devotional, I asked him if he was busy and he said No, do you wanna talk for a little bit before my volleyball practice? and I said Yes please. He came over and we went in my room to talk. he starts talking to me like normal, and then I was just frustrated so I cut him off and asked him what was going on. He tells me that over the weekend he thought a lot about us and what I said. And that he decided he wanted to take a few steps back and go to the part where we are friends but we go on dates every once in a while. That he realized we moved to fast and that we really don't know each other. He wants to be friends but he still wants to hangout and talk, and he wants to take me out every once in a while. I was in shock. I did not see that coming at all. One week this boy is crazy about me and the next he wants to be just friends. What the hell?!?! Moving too fast?!? He set the effing pace!! I told him that I felt differently than I did that Thursday night. That the weekend apart made me realize that I wanted to date him. And now he changed his mind on me? I felt like I was about to start bawling. I tried so hard to keep it together and thankfully I did. He left, and I broke down. I fell in my tracks and started bawling. What had I done? I totally deserved this huh? I asked for this. I did this to myself. And now I have no one. I'm going through pretty much the same thing I did a year ago. I dated another douche bag. Congratulations! What do I do now? I don't want to be the back burner girl. I don't want to be the girl that he knows is always there. The one that will always say yes. The one that when he can't find a date, he asks me. I don't know how to go about this. I don't understand how to go back to being just friends who date, when we've already crossed that line. I've crossed so many lines with him. I met his family! Why is this happening? I have class with him in 7 hours. How am I supposed to act?
Silly please help me!! Anyone please help!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

New News is Good News only for Jewy Jews!! ;)

Ahhhh I have sooo much to say! Okay so last I wrote in here I was talking about how Fielding asked me for Jenna's number and I was worried. Well I go home, to the talent show, and then I watched Ryon open his mission call. He is going to the Washington DC mission Spanish speaking!! Awesome huh?!? Okay then I get this phone call from Steven, and he was asking me where I was. I told him I was at home and then I could hear his voice in real life. I asked if he was in my apartment and he said no. Then I heard him through my window. I opened the blinds and there was a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of flowers between my screen and him! I took my screen out and hugged him through the window. He walked around the building and then came into my room. He only stayed for a little bit because he had homework. I told him I was excited for the next day, and our trip to Seattle! About an hour later Harrison stopped by. He stayed over for a long time just chatting with me and stealing some of my music. I realized that Harrison and I are super similar. I told him that I was leaving for Seattle and he told me that he really wanted to come. So I asked Steven and Steven said it was fine. Great! Steven and Harrison and I in a car together for at least 12 hours.
Harrison met me at my apartment and we hungout for about an hour and then Steven came and we left for Seattle. It was such a long drive!! Harrison was hilarious and Steven was super cute. Steven and I held hands a lot, and he would scratch my back whenever I was trying to fall asleep. Harrison kept texting me asking me if I was impressed yet, or if I legit liked him, and crazy stuff like that. So we get to Seattle and Harrison, Steven, and I all spend the night at Steven sister in law's house. She was sooo sweet! I loved her! I got like 3 hours of sleep and then we left for the temple. I met Andrea, Kaylie, and Isaac there! I was soooo excited!! Then we found Steven and I introduced him to some of my favorite girls! He asked them what we were going to do in Seattle, and I guess they had some similar ideas. He told them that he was planning on taking me to all these places, and I had no idea what they were talking about so I went to get my bag out of the car. I got back and we all split up. Steven gave me a hug and the second that he was out of hearing range Andrea and Kaylie started telling me that I needed to date him, and how they thought he was sooo cute and romantic. I giggled because I already know that and I was really excited for whatever plans he had made. I had a wonderful few hours with Andrea, Kaylie, and Isaac. Isaac is so funny! Then I went to Steven's house and it was just him and Tiffany, his sister-in-law. I was supposed to go to a wedding reception with him but then Tiffany and I decided that we should just stay home. I found out that Harrison went out to lunch with Steven's family. Tiffany and I had a really good conversation about BYU-I and her divorce. Then Steven got back and we were sitting on the couch together and then his parents came home. I was so  nervous for some odd reason. But they seemed to like me. His dad was pretty cold but I could tell that they were just judging me because they knew their son liked me. This is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want to come to Seattle and have it be a "meet the family" trip. Whatever. So then Steven and I got ready and left. He had all sorts of stuff planned for the evening. We drove to downtown Seattle and walked to this shop called Ye Olde Curiosity Shop. It was pretty cool but scary at the same time. Then we walked out on the pier. I thought for sure he was going to try to kiss me there so I made sure I wasn't to close to him. Then we went to the fountains and the aquarium, and then the space needle. It was pretty cute and romantic. We drove back to his house and ate cheesecake while talking to his mom. She really opened up this time. She told us these hilarious stories about her ghetto students and the other teachers. We watched a baseball game with his dad and brother and then they all went to bed. Steven and I stayed out on the couch and i was laying on one side of the couch while he was on the other. We talked for a while and then ended up cuddling. I was still trying to keep my distance as much as possible. We both fell asleep for a little bit and when we both woke up Steven started nose grazing me. I knew he wanted to kiss me. I wasn't going to give in. If we kissed then my game was over. There would be no more Chris, Fielding, Harrison, nothing. So I turned my head so that I was looking at the ceiling.
The next morning Steven woke me up. He kissed my forehead and asked me what I wanted for breakfast. I told him that I didn't care. He made me french toast. I took a shower and got ready for church. We drove to church with Harrison, ohh his friend spent the night too but he didn't want to come to church. We sat by his parents and as sacrament meeting went on I noticed that more and more people, especially women, kept looking at me and almost glaring. I asked Steven what their deal was and he told me that his ex, the one that wrote him through the whole mission and then he broke up with her 3 days after coming home, was in his ward and everyone really like them together. Thank you for forgetting to mention that. It was even worse when sacrament ended and everyone came over to say hello to Steven and meet the first girl he's brought home. Finally, we left after saying goodbye to his parents, his dad gave me a huge hug and told me to come back. We got back to his house and changed and then his parents and both his brothers came back early from church too. We got ready to leave, packed up the car, and said our goodbyes again. His mom and dad both gave me huge hugs and told me that I was welcome in their house whenever I wanted.
So the drive back was super long. My stomach was hurting soo bad! I slept on Steven's lap for a while and then he slept on mine. I called my surgeon the next morning asking for an appointment. He told me I could come in that day. Steven asked if he could come with me and I agreed. We went to my appointment, and when my surgeon asked me to pull my shirt up I accidentally pulled it up too far and Steven got a little show. oops! My surgeon told me that I might have ulcers and that if I was still in pain after two weeks of taking this medicine, he would need to do an endoscopy. That's when they shove a camera-tube down your throat and through all your organs to see if anything isn't working properly. Great! So now I am taking the medicine and waiting. I will finish this story later. Love you Sill!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Hopeless Romantic...

Okay so Sunday night, I started to get stomach cramps so I told Steven I wasn't going to go watch a movie with him anymore. So I curled up in my blankies and kinda fell asleep when someone knocked on my bedroom door. It was Steven, he came in and laid on my bed with me. We talked and I showed him some pictures, and then we talked some more and he asked me what I was doing that weekend. I told him I had no idea and he asked me if I wanted to go to Seattle. I asked who was going and he said just him and I. I asked why, and he told me that his best friend was going through the temple on Saturday. I told him that I would think about it, but that I really wanted to go. Then at 9, Chris called and asked me when I would be leaving for his place, or if I needed a ride. I told him I would drive myself and that I would leave in a few minutes. So, Steven and I talked for a little longer (its hard to get him to leave), and then I got dressed and left. So Chris made this awesome Salmon, and salad, and then we watched Superman. He sat really close to me and the whole time I was kind of thinking about Steven... I felt bad. And then Chris was hinting at holding hands and I was pretty turned off. It's almost like he is being too aggressive. The movie ended and it was almost midnight, so I told him I needed to leave. He walked me out to my car, and gave me this huge hug. I thanked him for dinner and he whispered you're welcome, and smiled at me. Then He watched me pull out and leave his parking lot. I got home, and wanted to text Steven soooo bad! I decided tha I would go to Seattle with him because I have never been there and two of my old roommates (Andrea and Kaylie) live there! I texted them both and told them and they were super excited!!
Monday! I walked to school with Fielding, and we talked about our weekends and whatnot and flirted a little. Then I got to class and sat by him and Michael. I didn't want to sit my Chris or Steven because I knew that the other would get pissy. I went to all of my other classes and when I was walking to my engineering lab, Fielding saw me and we walked in together. Jarvis and I only stayed in the lab for a little bit and as I was leaving Fielding stopped me and asked me a few questions and then said goodbye. I went to my Chem lab, and that was horrible! then I walked home with two boys who are awesome, Jackson and Skyler. Jackson is way cute! Prospect?? ha! I got home, and Steven called me and asked if I wanted to do homework together. I agreed and he came over and we mostly just talked but I did get my math homework done. then he convinced me to go to FHE, and he left all his stuff there because he wanted to come back. A few minutes after I got back from FHE Steven called, and I was on the phone so I missed it, and then he was at my front door with carmel apples! He's so cute! We did some more homework and then we sat down on the couches. I moved to the lovesac, and we were talking about how we sleep and very smoothly Steven laid on the lovesac and "showed me how he sleeps at night" and we started mildly cuddling. Then, midnight came around and Steven left. Ryon (my favorite boy in the whole world) had texted me, and since I love him soo much I asked him to Skype! we tried to skype and ichat and my connection was horrible. But we exchanged some awesome songs and called it a night.
Tuesday! Ummmm... well I'm on drugs and I don't really remember what happened. Other than I went to class, devotional ( I looked REALLY cute), and I went to the lab. OH, I ran into this guy in the lab, his name is Jake and he is a friend of a friend (Chasson). And he was super surprised to see me in there, and so we chatted a little. He is pretty cute! And then I got home and Chris asked me what I was doing, and I told him that I had just gotten home from the lab, and he just came right on over. I was laying in my bed, as always, and he came in and just sat on my bed with me. He kinda rubbed my back a little. Then he left and Celeste and Mikayla (2 of my roommates) asked me to go to a football game with them. It was Celeste's big black boyfriends, so I agreed. Celeste's boyfirend's name is Johnathan and I love him! He is sooo funny! Well he keeps telling me about how he wants to set me up with his friend Junior, and Junior is on his football team. Well we get to this football game and there is Jake! We smile and start talking again. He is roommates with Johnathan and Junior, great. I flirt with him a little and tell him to come to my yoga class. Celeste, McKayla and I leave and when we get home Celeste tells me that Junior and Johnathan were going to come over to play with us for a little bit. So they come over and I am being really nice to them because well, I love black men! Junior has such a hott face, but he is a little bit of a chunk because of his mission. Well then they leave, and Johnathan tells Celeste that Junior wants to take me out on a date. We agree on next week.
Wednesday! I go to all my classes. Oh Fielding was sick and so I offered to bring him meds if he wanted them. Steven texted me and asked me when my classes were and that he wanted to see me sometime but it looked unlikely. Ummm I get done with all my classes and i take a very glorious nap! then I got to the lab again. I get done with lab, go get groceries blah blah blah. Jenna, Rachel and I start watching Made of Honor. When it's almost over, Steven texts asking what I am doing. I tell him and then he asks if he can come over. I tell him I was about to take a shower, but right after I sent it, he was at my door. I jump in the shower and then we talk on my bed for the next couple hours. We discuss how are weekend was going to be and he has a million things planned but he doesn't want to tell me any of them because he wants me to be surprised. I can tell he has some very romantic things planned because he talked about the sunset, and a ferry ride, and dinner and all kinds of stuff. He climbs out my window at 12 30 and then I ask Ryon to skype! Woot Woot! We skype and exchange more music and talk about life and how his mission call might come on Thursday!
Thursday! I go to my classes, run into Steven on campus and he looks really good. In chem, I flirt with this good looking guy who always comes to my yoga classes and Harrison a little. I was supposed to bring Harrison some meds last night but I got tied up with Steven. Then I went to the library to do this study guide with Chris and Jarvis and Chris was being super aggressive once again and pretty touchy feely. He was rubbing my back and neck and I just wanted him to back off. He asked me when I was leaving for Seattle and I told him. So now, I am just in the library writing this blog, and Fielding texted me asking me what Jenna's name was because he saw her on campus. Then he asked me for her phone number because he is going to text her and ask her if she saw him. It kinda pisses me off because I secretly still want him and I know I shouldn't. I really really do though. He's just so good looking and tall, and I think the fact that he isn't pursuing me at all makes me want him more. So i just texted Jenna and told her to talk me up because I still want him. Hopefully she follows through! Ohhh RYON BAZZLE got his mission call!!! He is going to open it tonight and it will be broadcasted on the internet somehow! I am sooooo excited for him!! I love that boy!!
Silly! I hope you are reading all of these because they are true and factual and I this is my life right now! I MISS YOU! I MISS SANASA!!! Come home pleeeeaaaassseeeee!!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Setting myself up for disaster

Sooo I started going back to school, bad idea! I went to my first engineering class, and Steven, Chris, and Fielding are all in that class. Well I got there early so I set my backpack down on a chair and went to the bathroom, when I got back they were all there and Fielding was sitting next to my stuff. Chris was in the front row and he said Hi and  started up some conversation and then Steven and Fielding joined in. I could tell Chris was a little annoyed that I was sitting next to Fielding. Keep in mind, none of these guys know about each other really. Well Fielding kept talking about the rodeo and how fun it was supposed to be and he told Steven that he needed to "get a chick and go" and I was sitting right there! He said the same thing to another guy sitting near us too. During our class Steven would try to talk to me, and Chris did the same, and Fielding didn't try quite as hard but just a little. He told me that I needed to go to his volleyball game (so he could show off). Well that class ended and I went to my lab, and Chris and Jarvis are in that one. Chris would wink at me here and there and smile and whatever and Jarvis would ask me all these questions about good ideas for dates and whatnot.
So I left those engineers determined to find another guy to go to the rodeo with so I could strut my stuff right in front of them. I get to Chem and troy keeps telling me that he thinks Harrison is really into me. I look over and Harrison gives me this huge smile and we both start laughing. Harrison is more my type than most of the engineers. Hes pretty good looking, but more than that he's a really chill, funny guy. Ohh and I like riding on his motorcycle :)! So a few minutes later I text him and ask him what his plans are for the night, and long story short he asked me to got to the rodeo with him. score! So i thought. A couple hours later he calls me and tells me that his roommate had set him up on a surprise date for the rodeo but that he still wanted me to go so that we could meet up. So I ended up going with Troy, who is one of my best guy friends, no feelings there really. I looked REALLY good! I dressed like a cute yet fashionable cowgirl and I pulled it off sooo well! Troy and I saved seats for Harrison and his date and their friends, and Harrison being a flake came over, said hi and then left. Great huh?! Then Steven walked by with his date and I was all drugged out so I didn't recognize him at first and then I did and we said hello and then he sat behind me a few rows with his date. I danced around and just had a great time with Troy and my other girlfriends! I went to go cheer on our friend Catherine who was riding a steer, and I ran into Fielding! Perfect because I looked hott! I said hi to him and his not cute date, and then went back to my spot. The rodeo ended and Steven came up to me, totally ignoring his date and told me that I looked really good and that we would see each other the next day.
Saturday, I drove back from Idaho Falls because Jenna and I spent the night at the Floyd's, and Steven came to pick me up so we could work on our homework together. Well right before Steven picked me up Chris called and told me that he had just made a huge sacrifice so that we could hangout that night. I had totally forgotten that I told him we would do something that day. We were supposed to go hike up the R mountain and do yoga at the top. Well I told him that, that wasn't the best idea for me seeing that I had surgery a week before. He understood and we decided we would ride bikes to the nature park and feed the ducks at 4. Steven and I left for the Austin, and I told him I had to be done by 4. Well we finished our homework at 3 45, and he whipped out this picnic for us! So we sat outside and ate and I realized that I was going to be late, so I texted Chris and told him to give me an extra 10 minutes, he said that was fine. And then Steven invites me to got to a bday party with him at 5 50 and I agreed, stupid me. I get home at 4 15 and Chris had texted me telling me that he stopped by and I wasnt there and that he would be an extra few minutes but it would be worth the wait. I changed my shirt and fixed my hair a little, and got another text saying he got a tandem bike! I was soo excited! Then he showed up with a backpack. We went outside and there was a really sexy motorcycle out there! I was even more excited! I LOVE MOTORCYCLES!! So we go to the nature park and he was just as excited as I was. A huge group of duck surrounded us and he got me to feed a duck out of the palm of my hand! He took pictures on his phone. It was precious! Then we went and sat on these tables and he whipped out a picnic!!! JEEZ!! so I ate a little just so I didn't offend him and we talked for a really long time. Then we walk back to his bike, and he is rubbing my back because it is so cold. We ride home and he tells me that I am a really good person to ride with. We get to my apartment, make hot cocoa and watch the last half of Hitch wrapped in my amazing blankie. I get up to go to the bathroom and my roommates stop me and ask me what I am doing. They tell me that Chris stopped by earlier and he said he didn't understand why I wasn't there. Then later Steven stopped by (at 5 50), and asked where I was and they had no idea. Ohh and Phelipe stopped by to see me too! They told me that I needed to pick one, and that I was crazy. So i ignore them and go back to sit with Chris. Fielding texts me while we are watching Hitch and it says, "Didn't see you at our volleyball game :(". HA! I didn't text him back. Well Chris gives me a big hug and invites me to Sunday dinner and leaves. Well Steven calls and tells me that I blew him off. So I felt bad and told him I would hangout with him Sunday night. The rest of Saturday night I spent studying Chem with my roommate Rachel, and texting JC. Then my phone freaks out and turns off the rest of the night.
This morning, Sunday, my phone finally turns back on and I see that JC and Harrison had texted me. Harrison asked if I was high. Becasue he thinks I am always high on my meds, and JC was just carrying on our previous conversation. I didn't text either of them back. During Relief Society Harrison texts me again and tells me that I need to come to dinner at his aprtment, that I am his date. I didn't say anything back to him. He sends it again. Then 10 mins later he texts me saying never mind it's not gonna work out. I knew it. I get home and Chris comes over to pick up some Salmon that he is going to cook up and tells me that dinner will be around 9. Then Steven texts me asking what I am doing from 7 to 9. I tell him I am free til 9, and he tells me that he "was hoping to enjoy my presence while viewing a theatrical motion picture". haha! So i agree. And that's where I am at now. Steven just texted me telling me they were going to be a little late.
Ohh I was high on my drugs today in sacrament meeting and I got up and bore my testimony about love and our awesome bishopric. People came up to me during all of church and told me that I was so cute and they enjoyed my testimony. I dont even remember it : / . There was a really cute tall guy that bore his testimony about the power of priesthood, and after all the meetings we ran into each other and he thanked me and I thanked him and that we would see each other soon. I don't know his name. Possible prospect????........ ha

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Boys, Boys, Boys

So here's an update on my life:
1. I had my gallbladder removed last Friday because it was only working 9% compared to normal people who's gallbladders work 80-100%. grrreat...
2. My mom came for the weekend until Tuesday and that was freaking awesome!
3. JC and Marcus almost came but then backed out :(
4. I may or may not be failing all of my classes because of how much school I've missed.
5. I'm on drugs 24/7 and I'm not even myself... I'm BETTER!! Woot Woot!
6. A ton of guys started showing an interest in me out of freaking no where.........

AND that takes me to the new makeover of my blog! We're talkin boys from now on! Well not all the time but a lot because it's nuts!
Okay so I am in 2 Mechanical Engineering classes this semester. The first one is Technical Drawing and there are 3 girls in that class including myself, out of about 50 students total. The second one is right after tech drawing and it is a Materials class with a lab :/. Okay so in Tech Drawing, within the first week I realized that there was a tall (6'5'' to be precise) cutie in both of my classes. So, I very smoothly worked my way into that and we started walking to school together, we will call him F. Then in my materials class there was this nerdy boy who asked me to be his lab partner, so I accepted, and he will be called J. Well F wanted me to be on his volleyball team, and since I was a tad bit interest I went to the meeting and that is where I met S, who is friends with F. S is smart but a little metro. He has very good taste in clothing and he likes to cook. So I chatted with S a little, thinking nothing of it. Well S and F went to tryouts and then stopped by my yoga class, then I saw them both the next day in class. F is in both my classes, and S is only in the first. The next day they both came to the last 10 minutes of my class, the relaxation part. So I made it good, and then F walked me home. F and I hungout for the next hour or so, and then I walked him up to his apt and when we were saying goodbye he looked down at me and said,"You are such a cool girl, you're into such unique and different things." And he smiled that smile that guys make when they are about to make a move, and I didn't want that to happen just yet so I said thanks and told him I would see him the next morning. Well the next day, F decided to ignore me a little bit. We walked together and then when we got to class, he didn't sit by me. And in our next class he didn't sit by me again. Well S caught on and asked me what was wrong. I told him I had no idea and that I didn't really notice. Later on that day, F was texting me and told me that he was just "mixing things up." So I let it go and started fresh the next week. Monday I sat by S and then J. J is only in my materials class. Wednesday, this new kid, C sat next to me and started talking to me and slightly flirting. Well we decided to do homework together that night. So we did our homework together and then the next night he came to my yoga class and was totally showing off. Well I told him that I was having surgery the next morning and that I would see him the next week or something, and he told me that he would try to come visit me sometime during the weekend. I got home and S had called wanting to see me. So, I hungout with S for a few hours and had a lot of really nice conversations with him. The next morning, I woke up super early and went to the hospital with my roommate Jenna. A little bit later Sister Floyd came to stay with me because Jenna was going to leave. Then Alex came, who is Jenna and my friend. I got drugged up and then went into surgery. I woke up and Jenna, Alex and Sis Floyd were all still there. I was in a lot of pain so Jenna laid in the bed with me and spooned me. I fell asleep and when I woke up my mom and Bishop Murri were there. Long story short, I couldn't pee so I staed at the hospital for a really long time, and then they just let me leave. I got to my apartment and there were balloons from my friends Evan and Ryan, and a balloon attached to apple juice from my relief society president. Within half an hour, C showed up at my door with a balloon attached to a bag of Reese's. He told me that he called the hospital and they told him I was still there, so he went and I had just left. So he came to my apartment and sure enough there I was looking like a mess. Then he came back to check up on me on Sunday, and there just happened to be a ton of people over. Including a boy, M, who comes to almost all my yoga classes. I guess he is friends with Alex who was also over. Ohh and Troy and Brock were over. C had a very good conversation with my mom and she really liked him by the end of the night. So everyone left and S called. S wanted to see me, so I let him come over. We sat on the lovesac together and I could tell he wanted to cuddle. But, I wasn't gonna let that happen. So when he tried to put his arm around me, I acted like I was in a ton of pain, which I kinda was. He was trying really hard. We made jello and then he left and I went to bed. Monday morning I slept in and then S called around 12. He came over, 'checking up' on me. Meanwhile C was texting me trying to come over as well. My mom and I decided we would go to my 12:45 D&C class, so S drove us there. S told me that he would meet me at the Austin right after my class to work on homework. C texted me during my D&C class telling me that he would come pick me up at 1:30 to go work on homework in the Austin. I told him that I was in class til 1:45, and that I would meet him after that. So, I got out of class headed towards the Austin and went into the computer lab. S nor C were there. So I called C, and he didn't answer. I texted him and told him to come meet me. While I was waiting I ran into F, and he gave me a huge hug and asked me how I was doing and if I needed anything. Then S called and told me he couldn't come til later because of an emergency with his roommate. Perfect it would be just C and I. So C and I met up and were working on our homework when all of a sudden S came in and gave me his flashdrive with all his homework on it. I took it and then he left. While he was gone, he texted me saying, "I'm sure you are very distracted by whats-his-face." I didn't reply. As C and I were finishing, S showed up again. So I finished up real quick and said goodbye. C drove me home. Later that night J started texting me asking me how I was doing and when he could come visit, and S asked me if I wanted to do dinner the next day. I replied to S telling him yes, that it would be nice to have dinner with S and F, because that was the plan last week. He told me that he was planning on it being just him and I, but if I wanted it to be more of a hangout sesh he would invite F. And I told him that I wanted more of a hangout sesh because I couldn't handle the pressure of a date right now because of all the drugs. Tuesday came around and I dropped my mom off at the airport, did homework and got ready for dinner. S told me he would pick me up at 7. & came and I heard a knock, so I went to answer the door and it was J! J wanted to see how I was doing, so I let him in and told him I was okay and that I would return to class the next day. A few minutes later another knock came and it was S. So I left with S and on our way to his apartment he answered a call from F, and gave him some directions. He hung up and told me that F was picking someone up and then coming over. I asked if it was a date, and he said he thought so. Well it was, so at dinner it was F, and his date Becca, who was very tall (6'1'') but not very cute, and S and I. We had a lot of fun and during the whole time I tried to make friends with Becca and show F that it was not affecting me at all. I flirted with S and I even noticed that F flirted with me a little bit. Ohh and during this whole dinner I was on a higher level of drugs, well I accidentally took more than I should have. Everyone complimented me on my salad and then S drove me home because I was supposed to meet with Troy to study. So that all happened last night. Today, S called me after his first class, our class, and asked me if I was okay. I told him I just felt really sick and he said he would try to come by later. A couple hours later C texted me "Ill be there in 10" and I replied "where?" and he said "your place." So i freshened up and sure enough he came over, but this time he had a bag of fruit with him. He told me that I need to get better so that I could come to class again. Cute huh? We talked for about an hour and then he gave me a hug and left. S called me a little bit later wanting to do homework together sometime this weekend. We scheduled time on Saturday and then I hung up. Okay that's all of it as of right now. Take it all in becasue I will have an update tomorrow maybe.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Weekend in Boise

Okay so i had my ultrasound and it hurt sooo bad! Then they told me that I have to get another test this next week. So I scheduled an appointment for Tuesday at one. Then, as soon as I left, I started crying because I was lost in the hospital and I was in so much pain. So I called my dad, as always, and he told me to go to the doctor's office and get some pain killers. So I did. He gave me Darvocet, which is half pain killer half anti depressant so I took one and...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My First Yoga Class

It was amazing!! Silly, if you are reading this, the reason i haven't emailed you back is because my email is acting super weird becuz it is connected to my school account now too. I'm sorry! I will email you asap! I have sooo much to tell you!
Okay so I am teaching this yoga class at 9pm every Tuesday and Thursday in the wrestling room, which is tiny, and tonight was my first class. Well, about 65-70 people showed up and it was soo fun! Everyone was super cooperative and it was just such a blast. I did a pretty simple routine with some relaxation at the end. I'm gonna try to set up routines to target key areas from now on, because I was all over the place. Ohh and more than half the class was guys!! YAY!
So, I've been having really really bad stomach pains for a while now, and I finally went to the doctors today, and he thinks it is my gall bladder. Well gall bladder problems are hereditary and my dad's gall bladder exploded inside of him... so on Thursday morning I have to go to the stupid dinky little hospital and get an ultrasound on my gallbladder to see if I need to get it removed. I'm in soo much pain all the time it's totally ridiculous! I really don't want to have surgery! Especially away from home. Well my mom said that if I do need surgery she would fly up here!!! That would be awesome!
Silly, I miss you soo much! I think about you everyday!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Teenage Years

Well I am no longer a teenager. I have been think about this for about the past month and a half. I even made a list of 20 things I wanted to do before I turned 20, and I did practically all of them. The only one I didn't do was go skydiving or in a hot air balloon ride. Anyways, I was thinking if I enjoyed my teenage years, and I came to the conclusion that even though there were many times where I made mistakes, and did things that I definitely regret, I loved it! I don't think I would take any of it back. I had soo much fun and I know that it is only the snobby, stupid girls who say that they loved high school, but I did. I moved right in the middle of it and I still loved it. I'm not saying it wasn't challenging, depressing at times, and even lonely, but through it all four years I learned so much and met so many wonderful people who helped me grow and become the person I am today.
I read a really really good book the past two days. It is called Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. It just makes me want to fall in love again even more. I have been a man hater for long enough. haha! I should not have dwell on one douche bag for so long. They can't all be that way right? Well turns out the next guy I dated was kind of a d-bag too. But then I have to think to myself, do I look for the douches? Do i attract womanizers?! What the heck? Thank you mother for my large breasts! I'm just kidding. These questions just give me even more reason to do some soul searching and trying to find myself, so that I can become the person that I would want to be with.
Well overall I had a really good birthday! I received an amazing phone call from a couple of my favorite boys! They sang a very beautiful birthday song to me. I miss them soo much! Especially one of them ;)

Thursday, August 27, 2009


So I've decided that I am tired of being single, I am tired of being uncomfortable with my body, I am tired of being around my parents practically 24/7 on vacation, I am tired of having chapped lips, I am tired of going to school, and having homework. I am also already tired of my best friend being gone.
I talked to a boy tonight for an hour and a half. I may or may not be a little in love with him. I'm very very tired of my brother too! He's sooo stupid! He joins the football team because he actually wanted to, goes through 2 weeks of two-a-days, and then he gets kicked off the team. Hmmm that doesn't make a whole ton of sense to me.
Well I did see baby dolphins today! That was sooo exciting and a little scary at the same time. I was literally within 15 feet of them! Here is a list of cool/scary/fun things that have happened this past week: I committed my first murder (It was an opossum), I got shanked (by scissors that fell on me), I went crab hunting at night, I let a school of fish feast on my feet, I got sunburnt, and I saw baby dolphins! Thats a lot huh?! And on top of that, I am turning 20 in 1 day!
Speaking of turning 20, I wonder if either of my ex boyfriends will call. Guy, the boy I dated for almost 2 years, on and off, I called for his birthday in March and that was the last time we spoke. And my next boyfriend, Kenny... well I kind of hope he doesn't call. I may or may not hate him. No, I don't hate him, I just don't like him at all. I really would rather not hear from him. I guess time will tell.
p.s. I am just plain old tired. Goodnight moon!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

First Blog

Hey anyone who reads these. I have no idea how to blog or what even to write about. I'm not a very good writer either :/ but I would like to get my thoughts out on paper, or blog I guess. Another reason for this is that my best friend is going to a foreign country and won't have anyway of speaking to me other than email and blog. So I think it's necessary that I have a blog too.
Well here is my life at this very moment: I am turning 20 in 2 days! I am kind of obsessed with the song What if you by Joshua Radin and being slightly sun burnt. The latter is pretty bad especially since I am a redhead. Oh well! I am currently in Florida, at Rosemary Beach, where I wouldn't mind spending my honeymoon. I love the tv series Royal Pains. The main doctor is soooo hott! I took a sample GMAT just because yesterday. I think I want to get my MBA at University of Michigan or University of Chicago. But, I have a while to figure all of that out. I just finished watching the movie Catch and Release, and what I got out of it was just another verification that things do happen for a reason. Good or bad, they happen. Sometimes it is just so that we can experience them and learn something, even if it is little. Other times it is so we could meet someone, and hear what they have to say. And sometimes it is not even for us, sometimes it is for someone else. Sometimes someone out there needs to meet you and hear something that you have to say, or just see your smile. Hmm that was a pretty long sidetrack.
I have a small confession. I am very afraid for this next semester of school. This is going to sound bad, but I am moving into a much smaller room and I am pretty upset about it. I liked having a lot of space. Now I am practically moving into a closet. I'll just have to deal as best I can. I am also afraid because I only know one of my roommates. And I barely even know her. I know she is a nice girl, and we will get along just fine but it is going to be a different environment for sure. I'm going to miss my best friend...
Here is another confession. Is it bad if I never want any of my ex's moving on? Can they just permanently be in love with me forever? I know it is not fair at all but it hurts a little bit to see someone you were once so happy with, happy with someone else. I guess I just need to get over it and find myself a little more and become happier with myself. I think it would also help if I had a little bit more closure on some of my breakups. One of them specifically, maybe two. I'm not saying that I ever want to be with ANY of my ex's EVER again either. We all broke up for a reason, and I'm glad that I got to experience every single one of them because I learned something from each. I realized that there are so many characteristics that I want and definitely don't want in my future companion. I realized that there is someone out there who is going to love me for who I am and never want to let me go. Like another song I am obsessed with says, "the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind." I know that there will be a man that feels that way about me someday.
If this blog is boring to you, just stop reading it. This is more for me than anyone else on this earth.
What is up with twitter? All of a sudden I keep hearing about it. Do I need to make a twitter? I mean, why do we have all these websites that we have to update? I remember when I was in middle school xanga was the thing to do! And then myspace was all the rave the first couple years of high school. Then facebook was a must! Even my parents have a facebook, which I think they update more than I update mine. I personally think that is a little weird. Now there is this foreign site called Twitter, and when you get on it you are "Tweeting". It makes me laugh a little! Welp, I should probably end this post because I would like to wake up in a few hours, at sunrise to see if I can spot a few dolphins! Wish me luck!